Act 2| LET IT BE

It don't have to be so hard, we don't have to go there. If it is what's gon be, we don't have to worry~Be Easy: Alice Smith 

I often times find myself overanalyzing the simplest ideas. For instance “making it work”. What does that mean? And why when ones testimony is changed from making to forcing does that statement abruptly loose it’s charm? Like the difference between describing an apartment as cozy instead of small. This small distinction has been on my mind for months. When will I know that MY wording has changed? Realizing the ability to adapt to different practices when you don't intrinsically want to, is in fact force; did not at all register to me.

There is a theory called the Michelangelo phenomenon, named after the Renaissance artist, who viewed sculpting as an opportunity to reveal it’s ideal figure from the block of stone. The ideal figure exists within the stone, and the artist simply removes the stone covering it. (source)

It was then that I was able to comprehend the difference in the two concepts (making/forcing). In any relationship, the people you surround yourself with should help not hinder your growth in becoming your ideal self. The relationships that seem to be forced, works against seeing the beauty in ones autonomy. Their approach pushes for sacrifice at your expense. 

Making it work, rather suggest that the relationships in your life can be challenging, but are also duly affirming in helping you represent the you that is instinctive yet apprehensive to it's calling.

Sweater and Jacket Thirfted / Skirt - Brandy Meville (similar)/Shoes-Balenciaga

Photo's by Erica Lavelanet

-------------------------

I aspire to one day honestly answer the question "What makes you beautiful?" as Melissa Harris Perry did at some point during this interview.
She says, “ It’s probably because I’m irrefutably my self. Even when I try really hard not to be, I just come pushing out the sides eventually.”

I WANT THAT FOR ME!!
Thus the conditions of my current and future relationships
are not limited to, but certainly must now REQUIRE
the promise to appreciate me for who I am and the person that I choose to become!

peace Xx

Act 1| SUBTLE CHANGES &17 BABY MAMAS ENDING IN AN EPIPHANY

It’s power in them rolling hills~The Light Of The Sun: Jill Scott

Not much has changed from the outside.Other than…I think I’ve finally grown into my head.  I’ve gained a few, of course never in the places that bring any joy to men, but I gave that hope up a long time ago. After all, what I lack, I more than make up for in personality, is what I tell myself. Oh and I’ve discovered a few new freckles and spots other than the ones that I have grown accustomed to.

But I’m different now.Life has happened to me a few times and I’ve handled it a lot poorer than I would have imagined. I’ve experienced some hard truths, internalized them, and summarized these particulars into how I like to put it, things I did and allowed to happen from my broken place. If I’m honest with myself, I can tell you that it is more like me to do everything but go through pain. Hard headed is what some would call it, but I’m more familiar with this sequence as fear.

Jacket-Aritria (similar) / Dress- Topshop (similar)/Boots- Vagabond 
Photo's by Erica Lavelanet

-------------------------

But as a wise TV life coach devoted to fixing peoples lives told me (directly through my humble but beloved 24” screen) “extended and extensive pain will render you unconscious” because I know that I wasn’t the only one who was affected by the 4 part series of the man with 40 kids. Yes, I am aware that this is not breaking news/this ain't new. I also know that I wasn’t the only one conveniently streaming this from YouTube. Not because I am one of those cool people who doesn’t have time for TV, but because I am not one of those cute girls who moved to Bed Stuy because it was up and coming (and slightly gentrified); it is what I can barely afford, and cable is just not one of those luxuries at the moment.

But back to my epiphany, and the new affirmation that I have began to chant to quietly comfort me throughout my day:

“This is your journey, your testimony, continue to embrace the challenges and be forgiving to yourself” also followed by breathe and I’m not going to die” helps too. What I take from this is that prolonging your pain only makes less sense of the lessons that life is trying to teach you.

peace Xx